7.8.07 I Love You, Let’s Meet
Some 40 million Americans have tried online dating, about a quarter of all single people in the country. We all know someone who’s met his or her spouse online; many of us also have heard – or lived – tales of deception, disappointment and disappearance.
What we didn’t have was a book that explored how this amazing technology has changed the face of courtship. So I wrote one, interviewing dozens of online daters and focusing finally on 16 of the most dramatic and representative stories. I also weave in my own experiences online dating to illuminate the main differences between online dating and what went before: (1) more opportunities for creativity – and lying; (2) the blurring of dating and shopping; (3) the separation of sex and love; and (4) the opportunities to date more people than ever before.
Publisher’s Weekly writes of I Love You: Let’s Meet: Adventures in Online Dating: “More of a meditation than a guide, this volume combines research and the author’s personal experiences into a genuinely funny and informative read.”
Virginia Vitzthum has written for Village Voice, Washington City Paper, Ms., Elle, Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood, and salon.com where she was the sex columnist. She’s also written a screenplay and a play and made a bunch of short videos. ILYLM is her first book. She grew up near DC and lives in Brooklyn.
Tell us about your online dating woes, conquests and successes! Or do you want to receive free advice about your online ad? Leave all the pertinent details in the comments section (no worries! you can leave anynomous comments - only I will have your email address) and a few lucky readers will score a free copy of I Love You, Let’s Meet!
Ahh, a topic dear to my heart. I met my husband online back in 1996 (yep, back in the day when meeting people online was a little weird) when I was still in high school in South Africa and he was working in North Carolina. We became really good friends from our online chats and emails and then started the whole online dating thing. In May 1998 he flew down to South Africa so we could meet for the first time in person/IRL. (Yes, how amazing of him to fly all the way to SA trusting that I was who I said I was and that we would hit it off in person since he was staying with my family for 3 weeks. A brave, brave man). I moved to Arizona to attend University later that year, and by the following summer, he had moved from NC to AZ and we were living together. We have been married for almost 7 years now. We work together from home, so we see each other ALL day, and he’s still my best friend and the only person I could ever see myself with. I’d say we have a great success story!
Hi there. I’ve done online dating on an off for a few years but never had much success. If you don’t mind taking a look at my profile, here it is. I’d love any feedback. Thanks!
I’m a down to earth, intelligent, active person who typically brings something to the table, so to speak. Good manners, excellent conversationalist. Stable, but never boring. My most marked quality is my sense of humor. It’s irreverent and creative, leaning towards the twisted. Can’t get enough of the Daily Show or The Office. I’m intrigued by the inappropriate. You?
What else…enjoy my work…have a great network of friends who I love to hang out with, but also like my time alone. Intellectually curious. Open, thoughtful, tolerant. Love the outdoors. Appreciate substance over form (not into labels). I’m so over the term “I’m so over it.” I love to explore! It can be Europe or an unfamiliar part of New York, wherever. I read the op-ed page and like to know what’s going on in the world. Also love the movies – I’m drawn to the indies but open to a good old Hollywood extravaganza if it’s well done.
Observing life’s daily absurdities is a favorite pastime and I’d love to find someone who enjoys doing the same–ideally, we’d be able to entertain ourselves sitting on a park bench and people-watching. I’m looking for someone who’s smart and engaged in life. With a dry sense of humor who can laugh at himself as well as at others if the situation warrants it. Who doesn’t always follow the pack. Who’s up on current events. Who laughs in bed. If you’re that guy, by all means drop me a line.